St. Ardbeg's Hospital for the Permanently Befuddled was originally founded by Opus Barlei in the early nineteenth century for the treatment of liver disorders and scurvy. Our proprietary treatments, developed by world-renowned Dr. Hamish Dalmore, have proved extremely successful in the healing of spiritual melancholia and moral despair. The florid monks of Opus Barlei have dedicated their lives to the service of the befuddled throughout the world.

Spiritum Laudamus!

Tuesday, June 13


Of the many amenities at St. Ardbeg's, among the most popular are the peat baths. Filled with naturally heated water drawn directly from the bogs surrounding the hospital, the baths fill the convalescent's lungs with the heady, healing aromas of iodine, seaweed and cooking barley. The effect is salutary. Many of our patients return often just for the recuperative powers of our lovely Roman-era baths. When you visit our facilities enjoy a dram whilst you percolate in the earthy brown waters of healing. You will arise from the baths a fully rejuvenated man!

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