TESTIMONIAL

J. Prescott Montgomery Prescott-Prescot, the scion of a wealthy Midlands industrial family, was one of Dr. Hamish Dalmore's earliest patients. Known as "Barfie" to his former public-school friends, Mr. Montgomery Prescott-Prescot was the grandson of famous inventor J. Prescott Montgomery Prescott, inventor of the steam-powered bustle loom and of the lightweight galvanized-steel chastity belt (better known as "Prescott's Patent Purity Preserver"). The early daguerrotype at upper left shows Mr. Montgomery Prescott-Prescot upon admission to St. Ardbeg's, suffering from a nearly terminal case of indulgence in so-called "pure" and blended malts.

After a fortnight under the care of Dr. Dalmore, this desperate case slowly revived and gradually reacquired a taste for life. The photograph at upper right shows Mr. Montgomery Prescott-Prescot two weeks later, fully restored to health. Below is a letter written by Mr. Montgomery Prescott-Prescot to Dr. Dalmore several years later, announcing his generous donation endowing the chapel of Our Lady of Perpetual Stupor. Mr. Montgomery Prescott-Prescot's words speak for themselves.

"Dear Stinko,

I hope things are all oojah-cum-spiff with you, old bean? I saw Biffy at the 'Jolly Tankard' the other day, and he sends his regards. No fear, old boy, I'm still off the bad stuff, even though Biffy was pretty well under the infl. by the time I got there. Let's just say that he was somewhat vertically challenged at the time. Dear old Biffy.

But anyway, don't you know, the old man's oof is overflowing from the jolly old pockets, and I'm in a generous mood and remembering the old days. Your cure was really the cat's nightwear! I'm awfully grateful and all that. I mean to say I feel like a new man, and all that rot. Please find enclosed herein a token of my unbounded apprec. and gratitude. Perhaps a chapel on your property would be just the thing for chappies like myself?

Well, that's that. Say hello to Stiffy; sorry to hear he's still under the weather. I don't know what he sees in that 'Johnny Walker' stuff... I guess it takes all kinds. Tootle-pip and tinkertytonk!

Yours, etc,

Barfie."